NOT HAPPILY EVER AFTER

There's no escape..
I speak the truth,or i just
don't speak..
I  fade to solitude,
desolation and silence
the only comforts in this
world of lies
but in the silence there is a
suppressed
darkness and it swallows me whole 
leaving me hollow and numb.
But this numbness is
becoming a welcome
feeling to the abuse and 
pain of those that
fake their feelings...
They say they care... they
care enough to spit in my tear stained face and tell
 me to fuck off ,they care enough to slap me when I
speak
truth to them...honesty to all their lies...

Your love is the only thing that 
sustains me against 
these torments.

I suffered and died...
She died in my arms,her
blood trickling slowly in the
gapes in the white tiles
finding the only true
escape.
She took her last breath 
while gazing at mine.
 She left me  here to fight
this fight...and it is not a
fight i wish to fight alone...
Bunt she died and i lived
against all odds...

We should have died
Together.   

Down memory lane.

Monochromatic sunlight,
Gazed along the path above and down,
Black cloudy sky playing mischievous games.
I said to myself nothing numbs the pain anymore.Why?

Sometimes i can see grey structures,
Rusty iron doors, how to escape?
That old man says, "i am lonely and depressed".

Now every, thought of mine a weird imagination.
At night that nightmare again paid a visit,
My  fears are such a stronger emotion.
But i don't know, what they feed upon to keep themselves alive.

Somehow, i can still breathe,
But, the air is inferior,almost renegaded.
So, i suffocate sometimes.

Suppress the emotions,act numb.

Above the fussy reality,
I still dream and dream.
Dreaming about this bittersweet love,
My mind ignites sacred intentions.

I left out what i needed to change.
They say i act like i Am "running out of time",
But i Am just playing my role, i won't share my secret.
In this mist of reality i am a "slave to my thought's".

My thought's, almost unidirectional,
My thought's, eyes wide shut,
My thought's, much for the pain,
My thought's, pity beautiful.